The name of the judge was Deborah Servitto, and this is the actual court ruling.
Mr. Bailey complains that his rep is trash
So he’s seeking compensation in the form of cash.
Bailey thinks he’s entitled to some monetary gain
Because Eminem used his name in vain.
Eminem says Bailey used to throw him around
Beat him up in the john, shoved his face in the ground.
Eminem contends that his rap is protected
By the rights guaranteed by the First Amendment.
Eminem maintains that the story is true
And that Bailey beat him black and blue.
In the alternative he states that the story is phony
And a reasonable person would think it’s baloney.
The court must always balance the rights
Of a defendant and one placed in a false light.
If the plaintiff presents no question of fact
To dismiss is the only acceptable act.
If the language used is anything but pleasin’
It must be highly objectionable to a person of reason.
Even if objectionable and causing offense
Self-help is the first line of defense.
Yet when Bailey actually spoke to the press
What do you think he didn’t address?
Those false-light charges that so disturbed
Prompted from Bailey not a single word.
So highly objectionable, it could not be
Bailey was happy to hear his name on a CD.
Bailey also admitted he was a bully in youth
Which makes what Marshall said substantial truth.
This doctrine is a defense well known
And renders Bailey’s case substantially blown.
The lyrics are stories no one would take as fact
They’re an exaggeration of a childish act.
Any reasonable person could clearly see
That the lyrics could only be hyperbole.
It is therefore this court’s ultimate position
That Eminem is entitled to summary disposition.
Follow Ultrafacts for more facts!
Shout out to all asexuals and aromantics who thought they were broken or defective because society taught them that sex and relationships are the most important things in life
not that cup
Girls, romanticize yourselves. You are a queen. You are a warrior. You are an enchantress. You are a mermaid. You are a goddess. You are all of these things and more, you are the stuff of fairytales.
Women, traumatize others. You are a dragon. You are a wolf. You are a bump in the night. You are the last thing they see in the darkness. You are all of these things and more, you are the heart of their fucking nightmares.
Romance: Wow! you know so much about me! It’s like you seen a wiki about me!
PSA: because I keep seeing that shitty manipulated photo of Emma Watson on my dash. THAT PHOTO WAS PHOTOSHOPPED. The original photo (with another from the same shoot, is from 2011 with Mariano Vivanco) are pictured above. Please don’t perpetuate this error.
Deliberately spreading an altered image of Emma Watson which purports to show her breasts as a statement against threats of nude photo leaks is the height of hypocrisy and whoever did it should be ashamed. (x)
omg didnt know
this is everything I want their relationship to be
Confession: It creeps me out how in DAO, your character acknowledges the player’s existence. I imagine the warden saying “I shall do it” or “As you wish,” and the other party members wondering who the crap he/she is talking to.
Gee Robin, why does your mom let you have TWO Levin Swords?
Every frame of the Harry Potter movies, condensed into a barcode.#oh my god #look at this #how it starts off with reds and oranges and purples #bright colors #and then it gets continuously darker towards the end #it’s so fitting to the story #and then there is that strip of white at the end #which has to be the king’s cross scene #and it’s just #light #in a dark time #which is extremely beautiful
you know why theres a white part at the end? because happiness can be found even in the darkest of times
The Harry Potter fandom has officially lost their minds.
the harry potter fandom: where people get all emotional over colour stripes
This week on finding home stuck at goodwill
all of England’s former colonies say “scone” to each other instead of “burn” because they all know the two mean the same thing anyways
"John can kick his ass, he’s sixteen and also a god"
IT TURNS INTO A MACHINE GUN